Vivo Somnio (vivosomnio) wrote,
Vivo Somnio

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You know, part of why I dislike people is because they frustrate me.

I am frustrated.


I'm frustrated with my brothers girlfriend, Kathleen. I sincerely believe that somewhere there was a genuine miscommunication on some key points about things. I think she's still upset about it, and this bothers me. This bothers me because my one major flaw has been that despite how much I hate people at times, I care. Always have, always will. Typically I care too much, and try too hard, and the return on the effort I put in is typically non-existent. This makes me bitter often. Yet, that is how things are. I've never understood people, but I've always been exceptionally adept at feeling things with them, and trying to help.

I'm frustrated with an acquaintance of mine, Ryan, for being such a hypocrite. As a person I have no stock in any sort of "relationship" with the fellow, and therefore he means very little to me. As a personality though, he is quite the epitome of hypocrisy at times, which is frustrating. As a person, he is all too willing to self-righteously rant about that which he believes. This, I have no problem with. I'm guilty of the same, often. For somebody so willing to throw his ideas in others faces, he has no tolerance for the expression of ideas that differentiate from his own. Or perhaps it's that people are so often willing to swallow up what he say's, that he doesn't know how to handle it. He seems to be too sensitive, in that if somebody expresses an idea different than his own, he seems to take it as a direct attack at him, rather than food for thought. At least, thus has been my experience so far. When proffering a different viewpoint, rather than entering that viewpoint into his equation to see what he comes up with, he takes it as an insult to his intelligence.

I think that there is also something about me that is key to understanding part of both these issues, and I will attempt to explain it here.

Everything that I write. Every comment that I leave. Every thing that I say, is merely me feeding you. That's what I do. That's part of why I somewhat want to be a teacher. I enjoy feeding people with perspectives, and letting THEM come up with their own conclusions. I will continually feed in different perspectives into a conversation until the conversation dies, or I can't think of any more. The only person, thus far, that I've come to a direct disagreement with, and thusly have come to directly contradicting them is my dear brother Devin. He and I have never agreed on Reality, because I believe that it will only ever be what you perceive of it, and he is of the mind that what you see of it makes no real difference. I think it's really just a difference of definitions on what reality is, but that is besides the point. I want people that think that I'm directly attacking their views, thoughts, what have you to please realize that this is not at all what I'm doing. All I simply try to offer is a different thought and different perspectives on the subject. Different numbers to the equation, to see if when you substitute them your calculator still kicks out the same answer.

All I've ever wanted to encourage in this world are three things. The first would be that everybody would stop and look at things from different perspectives. In essence, for those readers amongst us, I ask you to promise me to never kill a Mockingbird. The other two things that I've always wanted to encourage in this world is empathy, and aspiration.
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